Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
