Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
