bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
