somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize