i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
