You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
