Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
