I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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