i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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