I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize