I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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