i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
