he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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