Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
