That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
