If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So vagazzling was a success
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
