____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
