you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
