I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The feeling are messing with the penis
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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