I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
