No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
