i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We talked him into tasing himself.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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