The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize