worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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