Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize