It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
