i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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