I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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