Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
