I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
