Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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