I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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