We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
