i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
