so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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