so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This show inspires me to have sex in space
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
