idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
