we have pet lesbian snakes
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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