I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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