It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
