And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
