Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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