Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
