I need help removing her.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
