my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
