ya dads aren't the best wingmen
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
