Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
