YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize