Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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