Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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