Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
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