We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
