What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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