it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
