in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
