Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
