For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
